Today was a very trying day. I tried to keep my sanity in spite of an uncharacteristically fussy 9 month old. The thing I just can't quite get past about babies is that they are much like pets, in that when something is wrong, they can't tell you what it is. You have to guess. Drake was not himself today. He didn't take his morning nap until nearly 2:00 in the afternoon, and he was unhappy most of the day. He cried when I was feeding him, holding him, rocking him, playing with him...there were moments of happiness but overall he was just off. My gut tells me it's a combination of teething and the new foods he's been eating, because last week was really the first time I've given him true table foods for every meal. He had lasagna, toast, waffles, chicken, turkey burger, spaghetti-o's, the list goes on. And he had some extremely disgusting diapers. So, I'm wondering if his little tummy hurts. I can't blame him - heck, if I ate a bunch of new, weird foods for a week straight I wouldn't feel so hot either. But I don't know for SURE that those two things are the root of the problem, I can only guess. He doesn't have a fever or any other outward signs of sickness or hurt. Poor thing...I just want him to feel better. And go back to being his normal mellow, happy-go-lucky self. For his sake and for mine.

Patience is a virtue I've never been really good at, and now my patience is being tested more than ever. It's something I truly want to work on in the new year. I feel terribly guilty when I get frustrated at Drake; it's not his fault. Nothing is his fault, he's only 9 months old. If any blame can be placed, it falls on me. So why should I be the one to get frustrated? It just doesn't make sense.

Alas, I try to remember that when he's screaming and contorting his body during a diaper change, or wailing when I lay him down in the crib, or flailing his arms as if to say "pick me up!" the moment I sit him down on the floor.

What I really should be doing is thanking my lucky stars that this isn't normal behavior, and that he is the wonderful, happy child he is 99.9% of the time. My heart goes out to those parents with babies who aren't as easy, because trust me, after even a day of dealing with Mr. Cranky, I am at wit's end.

I hope tomorrow is a better day. It scares me to death that Bill has to go to work and it'll just be me and Mr. Cranky, all by ourselves all day long. God have mercy on us.

Night.